Return To Self: Don’t Catch Feelings!

Photo by Frederik Falinski on Unsplash

By now, I hope that you have taken a long hard look in the mirror. Asked yourself some tough questions and hopefully, been brutally honest with the answers. With a little luck and a bit of effort, you are well on your way to becoming more comfortable in your own skin, the real you. I also hope you have started to prioritize yourself and that you understand the importance of being selfish and allocating quality time and self-care to the most important person in your world – You.

This entire process has likely stirred up a plethora of emotions in addition to the existing ones that you had from day to day.

Any experience in life is made up of two main parts; the event or occurrence and secondly, the emotion it elicits. Our emotions largely fall into two broad categories; Emotions that we feel about ourselves and emotions we feel about other people.

We are constantly churning out emotions literally every second of the day.  Every single thing that comes into contact with any of our senses elicits a reaction from us which is described as a feeling or an emotion.

What this also means is that our emotions are 100% under our control. We determine how we react to anything that we come into contact with; essentially, our feelings are our responsibility.

Emotions are a double edged sword; on the one hand, they serve an excellent purpose in our lives – being an indicator of our reaction to everything we encounter. On the flip side, they resemble a cantankerous bitch if allowed to spin out of control, leading to all sorts of emotional baggage.

Every single emotion that you experience serves a purpose. You don’t get happy or angry or sad or resentful for no reason. Most of us hardly pay attention to our emotions and tend to blame other people and situations for what we are feeling.

You will not be able to make any progress in your self-awakening journey until you understand your emotions and listen to what they are telling you. Every emotion that you feel is a mirror to something inside you – a belief, value or an opinion that you hold.

You and you alone, are responsible for every single emotion that you ALLOW yourself to feel.

So how do you start to understand your emotions? First acknowledge that they are always within your control. You cannot blame or hold anyone responsible other than yourself for how you feel.

Next, examine each emotion you feel keenly as it arises. Take time (more mirror time) and ask yourself why you are feeling that way and remember to keep your answer centered on you. No person has the power to make you feel any particular way unless you allow it.

In my experience, every time I did this process, I found that the reason why words or situations had the power to affect me was because, deep inside whatever had been said to me was a true reflection of my own thoughts about myself. I was just too ashamed and proud to admit it to myself out loud.

Whenever I got angry or irritated at someone’s behavior, I realized it was because their behavior was similar to something about myself that I wished I could change. Once I changed whatever it was within my self, the other person’s behavior or words no longer held the power to affect me.

In a nutshell, every emotion you experience is a mirror to something in yourself. You know what that means right? Those people who are just happy all the time? Like genuinely fulfilled, happy and satisfied? That’s the real deal. They are actually happy with themselves.  And those walking around criticizing everyone and angry at the whole world? They are really just angry at themselves and critical of their own attributes that they can’t even see.

Either way, your emotions have and will always be a reflection of how you really see yourself, whether you consciously accept it or not.

If you are ready to really take charge of your emotions, don’t miss the next post. I’ll be telling you all about the subtle art of Detachment.


If you would like to find out more about how a life coach can help you with this process, simply email me on and I will be happy to walk this journey with you.


(Missed the previous post? Read it HERE.)

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