Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash
Ever seen the phrase AS IS WHERE IS when making a purchase, especially used items or real estate? I’m sure you know what it means; that the buyer accepts to purchase the item in whatever condition it is in at the point of sale. Whatever faults or defects it may have.
It’s similar to Christian marriage vows. You promise to love your partner through thick and thin. With all the great parts and the not so great parts, right down to the out rightly ugly parts.
It’s remarkably easy for us to make such sweeping commitments to other people, and even things we wish to possess.
Why then, is it so difficult to accept ourselves as we are? Or you don’t think I am referring to you, right? You are all about self-acceptance aren’t you?
Wikipedia expansively defines self-acceptance as;
- the awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses,
- the realistic (yet subjective) appraisal of one’s talents, capabilities, and general worth, and,
- feelings of satisfaction with one’s self despite deficiencies and regardless of past behaviors and choices.
From the above definition it’s blatantly clear that before you can truly accept yourself, you first have to be self-aware. It’s simply not possible to speak of being self-accepting if you don’t even have a clue who you are.
You see, the self in “self-acceptance” refers to your true self. Not the self you are pretending to be. Or the self you have carefully orchestrated for all the world to see and admire. And not the self that you’ve carefully arranged masks on. Nor the self that seeks approval from others, or the one who spends every living second criticizing and pointing fingers at all and sundry.
Still believe you are self-accepting? If yes, I applaud you.
If you are cringing in the corner, don’t worry. There is hope for you. If you have been applying some of the steps I have shared over the last month or so, then I believe you are well on the way there.
Acceptance of self is literally the Holy Grail of Self-awakening. It is the key to the entire puzzle. Without self-acceptance, one cannot truly find their way back to their true self.
It is as simple as falling in love with the most important person – You.
It is taking a long hard look in the mirror. Examining yourself. Being honest with yourself. Becoming vulnerable enough to see yourself naked.
It is developing a sense of wonder at what you see when all the layers are off. Becoming selfish about your time and love. Knowing that it is ok to put yourself first. Learning how to focus on your own emotions and detach from anything that doesn’t serve you.
It is seeing all the nooks and crannies previously undiscovered and exploring them with eagerness. It is understanding how unique you are and knowing that you don’t need to compare to anyone.
It is belief in yourself, trusting your intuition to make confident decisions. It is the exquisite freedom that comes from knowing you don’t have to justify or explain yourself to anybody.
It is looking at where you are at – wherever that may be. And loving yourself, being fulfilled at that exact moment in time. Regardless of where you have come from, or where you are going.
It is not feeling envious of someone you perceive as being in a better position than you. Instead, being genuinely happy for other people’s successes.
It is being aware of every single aspect of your being – and loving each and every part.
It is knowing, that no matter what life brings your way, you wouldn’t have it any other way.
It is saying YES to Yourself – AS IS WHERE IS.
P.S. Just a quick note to say thank you for following this series – I hope it has impacted your life for the better!
I will be taking a break for the holidays; look out for the next instalment in the new year. Happy Holidays and stay safe!!
(Missed the previous post? Read it HERE.)