Return To Self: Gratitude

A quick scour of the internet will give numerous results in regards to what gratitude means, its importance, countless benefits and different ways to express gratitude in your life. Just in case you have been living under a rock, gratitude is the quality of being thankful. It magnifies positive emotions within us and allows us to appreciate and celebrate the present. To put it very simply, it is the ability to see the silver lining in every situation and focus on that. Humans have a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of situations, perhaps due to our comparative nature. It seems so much easier to look at what everyone else has and complain about your perceived lack; as opposed to celebrating the little that you have. As I wind down this series of self-awakening, I have realized that one cannot experience true reawakening without practicing gratitude. Right from self-reflection and learning how to fall in love with the person you see in the mirror. Understanding that everyone has their own story and accepting them just the way they are. Growing in confidence of your unique self and knowing that you are unlike anyone else on this planet. Gratitude is…

Return To Self: Acceptance of Others

Happy 2019! Yes, I am aware that it’s practically February, but that’s the great part about being accountable to only yourself. 🙂 Over the last 6 posts I have delved a great deal into SELF. It’s been all about You, how to find and be the most authentic version of Yourself. If you have been doing any kind of self-awareness work with an aim towards improving yourself and enjoying life more, I am sure that this has been one of the most challenging areas. Accepting others. You see, the second you start “living your best life” most of us develop this irresistible urge to share with everyone around us and hopefully get them to join us. Actually the most frustrating thing is going through what feels like a life changing transformation only to realize that no one gets it or even wants to be part of it. Having gone through my huge life disruption (Yes, that’s what I am calling it), I felt reborn and excited to share it with anyone who would give me the time of day. Imagine my consternation when majority of the people to whom I expressed my new found way of life were less than…

Return To Self: Acceptance of Self

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash Ever seen the phrase AS IS WHERE IS when making a purchase, especially used items or real estate? I’m sure you know what it means; that the buyer accepts to purchase the item in whatever condition it is in at the point of sale. Whatever faults or defects it may have. It’s similar to Christian marriage vows. You promise to love your partner through thick and thin. With all the great parts and the not so great parts, right down to the out rightly ugly parts. It’s remarkably easy for us to make such sweeping commitments to other people, and even things we wish to possess. Why then, is it so difficult to accept ourselves as we are? Or you don’t think I am referring to you, right? You are all about self-acceptance aren’t you? Wikipedia expansively defines self-acceptance as; the awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses, the realistic (yet subjective) appraisal of one’s talents, capabilities, and general worth, and, feelings of satisfaction with one’s self despite deficiencies and regardless of past behaviors and choices. From the above definition it’s blatantly clear that before you can truly accept yourself, you first have to be…

Return To Self: The Art of Detachment

Detachment is a word that often carries negative connotations. Most people associate it with aloofness, indifference and generally a state of not caring. One of the most basic definitions refers to it as the state of being disengaged or separated from something. Where emotions are concerned, we tend to get overly attached and invested in our feelings to the point where the emotions supersede whatever occurrence created them in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, emotions are necessary; but when they start to spin out of your control then it doesn’t feel so great. This is where the subtle art of emotional detachment comes in. Detachment is simply learning how to deal with your emotions in an objective, unattached and non-personal way. The first step of detachment is accepting that every single person is responsible for his/her feelings. In my previous posts, I talked about how we are only responsible for ourselves. We cannot control how other people will react, or even change them. When you consider this, you start to realize that you have been carrying around a whole load of emotions related to other people which is rather pointless. Whatever you feel about what other people are…

Return To Self: Don’t Catch Feelings!

By now, I hope that you have taken a long hard look in the mirror. Asked yourself some tough questions and hopefully, been brutally honest with the answers. With a little luck and a bit of effort, you are well on your way to becoming more comfortable in your own skin, the real you. I also hope you have started to prioritize yourself and that you understand the importance of being selfish and allocating quality time and self-care to the most important person in your world – You. This entire process has likely stirred up a plethora of emotions in addition to the existing ones that you had from day to day. Any experience in life is made up of two main parts; the event or occurrence and secondly, the emotion it elicits. Our emotions largely fall into two broad categories; Emotions that we feel about ourselves and emotions we feel about other people. We are constantly churning out emotions literally every second of the day.  Every single thing that comes into contact with any of our senses elicits a reaction from us which is described as a feeling or an emotion. What this also means is that our emotions…

Return To Self: Be Selfish!

One of the greatest challenges that we all have is Time. Our Time. Demands on our time. Trying to figure out how to make our time fit all the things we feel driven to do. Like any other mortal I have always struggled with time. I had an even greater challenge. For most of my life, I had this habit of putting other people before myself. It had a lot to do with lack of self-worth and an inferiority complex that I had battled since childhood. As my self-awakening journey continued, one of the things that greatly held me back was my resistance to allocate time to myself. I needed time to introspect, spend time alone with my thoughts and get to the true depths of my inner self that was yearning to be discovered. However, my precious time was all tied up with things that I believed mattered. External things and people that gave me the validation I so desperately craved. Validation I believed I needed. Not to mention, I had been conditioned to believe (like most of us) that taking time for yourself is selfish. That being focused on self, prioritizing your care is vain and frowned upon….

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