The Cheat Trick

It’s a rather chilly Valentine’s Day morning as I write this post which was inspired by an online chat I was perusing through. Let me paint you a picture. You are in a committed relationship with a great partner, raising your kids together and generally content with your love life. Then one dark day your world falls apart when you discover that your partner has been cheating on you and your entire life together is a complete lie. This is a fairly common scenario, devastating as it is. I would even go so far as to say, that its human nature to check out the grass on the other side of the fence. Why do I say human nature? Cheating is a typical escapism channel that we utilize to avoid dealing with what’s really doing on with us. Cheating is a symptom and not the actual problem. I get very bemused with the reactions people have when they hear that someone cheated on their partner. The most common is, what you did to make that person cheat on you. Somehow it becomes your fault that you were cheated on. Perhaps you didn’t do enough in the relationship to keep your…

Return To Self: Serenity!

In my mind, the word Serenity has always evoked images of Tibetan monks way up in the Himalayas without a care in the world, living a life of utter simplicity and bliss. Well as it turns out, you don’t have to make that long trek in search of the secret to living a tranquil life. You can actually achieve it right where you are. If I remember correctly, most of those documented journeys end with the protagonist realizing that all along he or she held the secret right within themselves all along. So now that I have saved you a trip 🙂 let’s talk about how you can find serenity right where you are. In case you are wondering, yes I have discovered how to tap into it without even leaving my house! First a definition. The state of being calm, peaceful and untroubled. Worried by nothing. Obviously I would like to point out that, being a state, serenity is clearly a continuous choice we make. Meaning that there are times you may not feel so serene, but you always know that you can choose to be. So how do you get into this state? First of all you have…

Return To Self: Gratitude

A quick scour of the internet will give numerous results in regards to what gratitude means, its importance, countless benefits and different ways to express gratitude in your life. Just in case you have been living under a rock, gratitude is the quality of being thankful. It magnifies positive emotions within us and allows us to appreciate and celebrate the present. To put it very simply, it is the ability to see the silver lining in every situation and focus on that. Humans have a tendency to focus on the negative aspects of situations, perhaps due to our comparative nature. It seems so much easier to look at what everyone else has and complain about your perceived lack; as opposed to celebrating the little that you have. As I wind down this series of self-awakening, I have realized that one cannot experience true reawakening without practicing gratitude. Right from self-reflection and learning how to fall in love with the person you see in the mirror. Understanding that everyone has their own story and accepting them just the way they are. Growing in confidence of your unique self and knowing that you are unlike anyone else on this planet. Gratitude is…

Return To Self: Acceptance of Others

Happy 2019! Yes, I am aware that it’s practically February, but that’s the great part about being accountable to only yourself. 🙂 Over the last 6 posts I have delved a great deal into SELF. It’s been all about You, how to find and be the most authentic version of Yourself. If you have been doing any kind of self-awareness work with an aim towards improving yourself and enjoying life more, I am sure that this has been one of the most challenging areas. Accepting others. You see, the second you start “living your best life” most of us develop this irresistible urge to share with everyone around us and hopefully get them to join us. Actually the most frustrating thing is going through what feels like a life changing transformation only to realize that no one gets it or even wants to be part of it. Having gone through my huge life disruption (Yes, that’s what I am calling it), I felt reborn and excited to share it with anyone who would give me the time of day. Imagine my consternation when majority of the people to whom I expressed my new found way of life were less than…

Return To Self: Acceptance of Self

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash Ever seen the phrase AS IS WHERE IS when making a purchase, especially used items or real estate? I’m sure you know what it means; that the buyer accepts to purchase the item in whatever condition it is in at the point of sale. Whatever faults or defects it may have. It’s similar to Christian marriage vows. You promise to love your partner through thick and thin. With all the great parts and the not so great parts, right down to the out rightly ugly parts. It’s remarkably easy for us to make such sweeping commitments to other people, and even things we wish to possess. Why then, is it so difficult to accept ourselves as we are? Or you don’t think I am referring to you, right? You are all about self-acceptance aren’t you? Wikipedia expansively defines self-acceptance as; the awareness of one’s strengths and weaknesses, the realistic (yet subjective) appraisal of one’s talents, capabilities, and general worth, and, feelings of satisfaction with one’s self despite deficiencies and regardless of past behaviors and choices. From the above definition it’s blatantly clear that before you can truly accept yourself, you first have to be…

Return To Self: The Art of Detachment

Detachment is a word that often carries negative connotations. Most people associate it with aloofness, indifference and generally a state of not caring. One of the most basic definitions refers to it as the state of being disengaged or separated from something. Where emotions are concerned, we tend to get overly attached and invested in our feelings to the point where the emotions supersede whatever occurrence created them in the first place. Don’t get me wrong, emotions are necessary; but when they start to spin out of your control then it doesn’t feel so great. This is where the subtle art of emotional detachment comes in. Detachment is simply learning how to deal with your emotions in an objective, unattached and non-personal way. The first step of detachment is accepting that every single person is responsible for his/her feelings. In my previous posts, I talked about how we are only responsible for ourselves. We cannot control how other people will react, or even change them. When you consider this, you start to realize that you have been carrying around a whole load of emotions related to other people which is rather pointless. Whatever you feel about what other people are…

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