Someone once quipped that things will often get worse before they start to get better. Someone else stated that it’s darkest before dawn. I am no stranger to either of these sayings and my rather dramatic past had always more or less followed similar patterns. It still took me by surprise, for some strange reason, when things went from bad to worse during my little self-discovery rabbit hole. I mean, I was supposed to be figuring shit out, right? Wrong. I was making a fervent attempt alright. But since I had no clue in what direction to go, it was more of random shots in the dark, hoping to find the light in the very dark tunnel. So one of the things I did (very randomly) was to cut off my long beautiful locks. Apparently when a woman cuts off her hair it signals the beginning of great change in her life. Well that was certainly very accurate in my case. That change triggered a number of decisions in my life, some great, most not great at all and some, just outright mistakes. One of the first decisions I made, rather haphazardly I may add, was to quit my job.
They say life begins at 40. I’m not sure who “they” are but I’m slowly starting to realize how right they are. A decade ago I thought that this phrase was all hogwash, after all, my life seemed pretty OK even then. With the typical clarity that hindsight brings, I can now see how naive I was back then. And no doubt, a decade from now I will be even more clued in than I feel at the moment. You see, that’s the interesting thing about life. It teaches you something new every day, month, year, decade…..you get the idea. There’s a catch though. You need to be open minded enough to catch the lesson lest you completely miss the plot. Which might just explain why some people appear to have never outgrown a certain (read adolescent) stage in their lives. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there is a trend to how we behave in life. Typically, most people tend to have a relatively carefree existence through their teens and into their early twenties. This may or may not apply to you, but in my case I basically lived my life without apologies
I had the honor of doing my first group motivational talk about a month ago. It was both a culmination and a dawning in my quest for my true identity and passion. Culmination because it marked the end of a journey that began six months ago when I finally took the plunge from the known into the unknown, murky world of self-employment. A new dawn because I was now doing what I truly desired, what made me who I am, a true realization of my identity. When I first asked myself who I truly was three years ago, my identity was mired in my titles, material possessions and relationships. Most of us will tend to define ourselves based on the people and things around us and not who we really are when everything is stripped away. I was no different and I found myself frustrated by the feeling of worthlessness despite having a pretty decent life. As I started to peel away the masks that I had hidden behind for decades, I slowly started to realize my true vision. Interestingly it was something that I had always spoken about as a small child – to be a teacher. To shape
Exactly one month ago I embarked on The Fulfillment challenge where my aim was to express gratitude for all that I have as well as to demonstrate that life fulfillment is found in the things we already have. To be honest, when I started I knew that it would obviously impact my life positively but nothing could have prepared me for the literal turnaround these past 30 days have had in my life. You see, since my new beginning late last year, where I went out in search of fresh challenges, I had not really settled down or made much peace with where I now was in life. I’m a doer and resting on my laurels quite literally threatened to drive me insane. This challenge turned out to be tougher than I imagined, not only because it was public (I was being held accountable by all of you) but also because some days were really tough and I still had to show up.
I am a hopeless romantic. Always have been. Love stories bring tears to my eyes. I have often been accused of being naïve about love and relationships but I really cannot help myself. I grew up reading and watching fairytale stories which probably influenced my disposition to all matters romance. Back then, romance novels like Mills & Boon were the hottest reads, literally and figuratively. Predictably, there was always a tall dark handsome character who would sweep a fair lady off her feet and they would live happily ever after. The End.
As we head towards Easter celebration in a few days, here are a few tips on combating Holiday Blues. This article first appeared in the December issue of Sage magazine. All rights reserved. Please indicate the source when quoting this article. As we prepare to bring down the curtains on yet another year I’m sure most of us are wondering, where did the year go? Well, guess what? You are not alone. A lot of us made very determined resolutions in January of this year, vowing that this would be the year of change. The thing about January is that it always makes us feel like we have so much time to make the changes we have long been putting off. Then before you know it, February is here and suddenly it’s Valentine’s Day and when you blink again, Easter is upon us. The cold months pass in a blur as we long for the warm months to return and let’s face it, after August, most of us just zone out waiting for January to start all over again.